"No matter how big a splash you make in this world—whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber, or a talking teddy bear—eventually no one gives a shit."
-Narrator from Ted
Maybe there are worse movies than Ted, but I'm not willing to do the dumpster diving it would require to find rivals for the title. I wasn't offended by the rude humor. I wasn't offended by the rough language. I was offended that it was a terrible movie with only two good lines—and they were used up in the first 10 minutes.
Story line: As a young boy, Johnny gets a teddy bear for Christmas, and his wish is granted when it comes to life to be his best friend. Flash forward twenty years, and John (Mark Wahlberg) is still living with his foul-mouthed bear and getting stoned with it every day. Imagine the unreasonable expectations of John's girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis)—hot chick with a great job and what does she see in this guy anyway?—that he ditch the plush, x-rated toy and make a life.
The Academy of Arts looking to Ted for Best Original Song is like panning for gold at a sewage treatment plant. Is there any connection that Seth MacFarlane—the writer, director, producer, and voice of Ted for this flick—is the new host of this year's Oscars, and they had to throw him some kind of bone? May it stick in his throat.